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You Can't Make Meeeeeeeee


This is a slightly less swear-y version of what I thought when my coach encouraged me to start dating again.

I had taken a 2-year “mantox” (man-detox) to work on building a life and self that I could love and trust. At the beginning, I was insanely lonely. I hated it. It felt unnatural.

But it worked.

I started coming back to myself. I learned how to cook, and found I loved it. I took myself out on dates to places I always wanted to go but could never get my boyfriends to come to. I started having solo dance parties in my apartment. My career grew. Money was better than ever. No drama, no anxiety, just a simple enjoyment of being me. It was wonderful.

So when my coach told me that I should consider dating again, I just about threw a fit! I had such a good thing going; why would I want to mess it up with a guy? Weren’t guys the problem to begin with?

What I came to learn was that it wasn’t the guys that were the issue. It was my own unhealed stuff. It was how I neglected myself, and my life. I chose guys who were in a similar state of being, or who would reinforce that neglect in me.

When I changed my relationship with myself, I started attracting very different men. It wasn’t the end of my journey in dating, but it was a powerful new beginning that led to the creation of my book…and finding my amazing husband.

What’s something you do, just to make yourself feel good?

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